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FAMOUS INTERFAITH COUPLES
TAYE DIGGS & IDINA MENZEL
GEORGE BURNS & GRACIE ALLEN
MARTIN SCORCESE & LARAINE MARIE BRENNAN
CHRISTINA AGUILERA & JORDAN BRATMAN
ELIZABETH TAYLOR & EDDIE FISHER
ANNE BANCROFT & MEL BROOKS
DAVID ARQUETTE & COURTNEY COX
MICHAEL J. FOX & TRACY POLLAN
PAUL NEWMAN & JOANNE WOODWARD
The Effect of Intermarriage On Your Children
As a final consideration, we would ask you to recognize the
effects which your intermarriage will have on your children. First, and most
obvious, you should be aware that your children are not likely to grow up as
Jews. This is a fact of contemporary life as reported by the foremost
sociologist of American Jewry, Marshall Sklare: “Many intermarried parents
declare….that upon maturity their child will have the right to choose his own
identity. This generally means that his identity will be with the majority
group. Only if the child has formed a particularly strong identification with
the parent who is Jewish will he be motivated to integrate into the minority
community. The majority of the children of intermarried Jews, then, will be
Gentiles. ...”(America’s Jews (New York: Random House, 1971), p. 202;
emphasis ours)
Admittedly, the likelihood of your children not growing up as Jews may not particularly disturb you. But there are two other negative effects of intermarriage upon children which should disturb you irrespective of your present feelings toward Judaism.
NO SOURCE FROM WHICH TO RECEIVE MORAL GUIDANCE
Since neither you nor your spouse strongly affirm your respective
religions and yet neither of you wishes to convert to the other’s religion, your
children cannot be raised in a religious way of life. In order not to offend
either spouse, neither Judaism nor Christianity will be practiced authentically;
and it is wrong to assume that some innocuous hybrid of the two religions can be
constructed so as to communicate the ethics of both. There are significant
differences between Judaism and Christianity and the attempt to amalgamate the
two will not lead to an amalgamated religion, but to no religion at all. In the
words of George Santayana, “to attempt to be religious without practicing a
specific religion is as possible as attempting to speak without a specific
language.”
As for ethical instruction without religion, as we have noted on a number of occasions, telling one’s children to be ethical does not suffice to render them ethical; an ethical system is needed, it must be based upon religious values, and in any event no comparable secular system of ethical instruction exists.
If not from a religious system in the home, then where else will your children derive ethical values strong enough to withstand a lifetime of challenges? “What contemporary social institution can be counted on to give Western man a strong sense of moral direction? The university? The mass media? The corporation? The country club? The laboratory? The couch? Today only religious faith…..can provide the basis for a social ethic worthy of the name…..”(Eugene Borowitz, in Himmelfarb, ed., The Condition of Jewish Belief (New York: Macmillan, 1969), p.32)
EXISTENTIAL LONELINESS
There is yet another negative effect which intermarriages have on children. You will have effectively cut them off from identification with any community. Instead of affirming for yourself and passing onto your children what so many lost and lonely individuals in modern societies desperately seek, a sense of rooted-ness and kinship with others, you will have utterly cut yourself and your children off from belonging to anything beyond your immediate family. You are thereby bequeathing to your children the single greatest source of unhappiness in the modern world: alienation.
Consider this empirically based observation of C. G. Jung, one of the most important psychoanalysts of the twentieth century:
I should like to call attention to the following facts. During the past thirty years people from all civilized countries of the earth have consulted me. I have treated many hundreds of patients, the largest number being Protestants, the smaller number Jews, and [about] five or six believing Catholics. Among all my patients in the second half of life - that is to say, over thirty-five - there has not been one whose problem in the last resort was not that of finding a religious outlook on life. It is safe to say that every one of them fell ill because he had lost that which the living religions of every age have given to their followers, and none of them has been really healed who did not regain his religious outlook. (Cited in Modern Man in Search of a Soul, C.G. Jung (London: Kegan, Paul, 1933), p. 244; emphasis ours.)
When we consider the Jewish alternative to this self-imposed alienation, the tragedy of this cutting of Jewish roots is revealed with even greater clarity. Jewish life is communally based (so much so that we possess almost no prayers containing the pronoun I) and is structured so as to endow each Jew’s life with historical and communal meaning. When the Jewish child is born, it is a major event not only for the immediate family but for the community. When the Jewish boy is circumcised at eight days of age, it is not an antiseptic surgical procedure, but a communal celebration of the entrance of another Jew into the covenant with God. When the Jewish girl reaches her twelfth birthday and the Jewish boy his thirteenth, they do not celebrate it alone or at a party, but with the community as it confirms them as responsible adult members. When two Jews marry, their wedding is sanctified “according to the laws of Moses and Israel, ” again a community event. Should Israel or Jews elsewhere become targets of hatred and bigotry, Jews will join one another to raise funds, mount political pressure, and do whatever else may be needed to aid fellow Jews - people whom they have never seen, whose country they have never visited, and whose native language they most probably cannot speak. When the committed Jew travels anywhere in the world - from Morocco to Siberia to Alexandria, Louisiana (among the many places where we, the authors, can personally testify to having been beautifully received by fellow Jews) - he or she is not alone but finds brothers and sisters who take him in, feed him, and show him love. Finally, when the Jew dies, the community takes part in this aspect of the life cycle as well. The community ensures a dignified burial, mourns for this Jew, visits and comforts the relatives who are sitting shiva (seven days of mourning), and lights annual candles of remembrance for him or her.
The human being is a social animal, and from the beginning of time and in all societies men and women have united to form communities. Whether or not a person finds meaning and happiness in life depends, in part, on having a sense of kinship with others. The community of Israel stands ready to share with all its members its joys and sorrows. They did if for your great-grandmother and great-grandfather in Poland (or Russia, Germany, Syria, etc) and for your parents in America. They will not do it for your son and daughter, because you have removed them from the Jewish community.
DOESN’T JUDAISM BELIEVE IN UNIVERSAL BROTHERHOOD?
This question is analogous to asking if Einstein believed in
relativity. Judaism is the source of the ideal of universal brotherhood. The
Jewish Prophets are universally recognized as the earliest and most impassioned
advocates of universal peace and brotherhood.
But how are we to achieve universal brotherhood? Is the assimilation of the minority of Jews into minority cultures the answer? Is abandoning Judaism the answer? What sort of universalism is it that demands that smaller groups give up their identities? That is totalitarianism, not brotherhood. The only way to achieve brotherhood is through all people sharing moral values, while retaining ethnic diversity.
It is precisely due to our commitment to universal brotherhood that we so fervently advocate Judaism which we believe offers the most viable method for the realisation of this ideal. When we ask a Jew to reconsider his or her decision to intermarry, this request has nothing whatsoever to do with negative feelings toward non Jews, or with automatically positive feelings toward those born as Jews. It is based solely on our commitment to the survival of Jewry and the Jewish way of perfecting the world.
MAIN PAGE: Intermarriage…Why Not?
by Dennis
Prager & Joseph Telushkin
Posted in: Jewish
Beliefs & Philosophy; Relationships
& Family
Family ties: what to do when your newfound love is Jewish butthe family isn't. By: Hanna Miller
You've finally found someone who has everything. A great sense of humor. An unassailable dominance at board games. A commitment to raising Jewish children. And a mother named Christina.
Dating a Jew isn't always a way to avoid the "December Dilemma," especially when your newfound love has converted to Judaism. Christmas is often the dealbreaker for Christians considering conversion, and even those who've abandoned the holiday usually have relatives who can't comprehend their decision. Many imagine they'll reenter the fold, escorted by a desirable man or woman who can't imagine giving up Christmas (i.e., not you.)
Know this. Respect this. And ask your mate how to handle it. You may find yourself drinking eggnog during your first holiday together: so long as you're comfortable with it, go right ahead. The key is to find a compromise that supports and strengthens your new relationship without undermining your identity or beliefs.
While you may be disappointed that you won't have another grandmother's matzoh ball soup to taste test, having a non-Jewish extended family can be a good thing (especially if you like grandma's eggnog). You have the chance to share your culture and traditions with people who may never have been exposed to them. Remember, dating is all about new opportunities
About the Author
(ArticlesBase SC #3316)
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Family ties: what to do when your newfound love is Jewish but the family isn't.
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INTERMARRIAGE
EXPERIENCES
Shalom!
We at www.jewsontheweb.com realize that
many of our brethern are part of an interfaith family, at some level.
(i.e., their immediate or extended family members or in the family of
their religious congregation.
We also realize that intermarriages
bring issues to work out and can greatly impact one's very being,
outlook on life, and on how one maintains and views their Jewishness. - We will attempt to offer differing points of view and experiences, fo ryour consideration and overall knowledge.
We invite you to share your
experiences/feelings on this topic. - We ask that you: avoid any vile
language; identify folks by their relation to you or their
first name; and avoid profanity.
email us at:
admin@jewsontheweb.com
SHALOM!
Everything You Wanted to Know About Jewish Weddings But Were Afraid to Ask
Author: Bridget Mora
It is more and more common these days for people to marry outside of their faith. This means that there are also more guests attending weddings with customs which may be unfamiliar to them. Since many religions have very meaningful wedding traditions, becoming familiar with them can help guests have a better understanding and appreciation of what is taking place during the ceremony. This is everything you wanted to know about Jewish weddings but were afraid to ask.
Do all Jewish ceremonies take place under a canopy? Yes. It is called a Chuppah, and represents the bride and groom's first Jewish home under God. The custom is believed to date back to Biblical times, and the open sides of a Chuppah are like the open sided tent of Abraham and Sarah, which was welcoming to visitors. The Chuppah can be made from any beautiful or meaningful material, including fabric, flowers, or even an old family quilt.
Why is the bride at a Jewish wedding dressed so conservatively? The strictness of the bridal dress code varies from Orthodox to Conservative to Reform Judaism, and may even vary from one synagogue to the next. In general, most Jewish brides will wear modest gowns which cover the shoulders, a bridal veil, and classic wedding jewelry. Orthodox brides will have the strictest requirements about their attire, while some Reform synagogues may have fewer specific rules. In any case, it is always in good taste for a bride to err on the traditional side for her gown and wedding jewelry when being wed in a house of worship.
Why are Jewish weddings frequently held on Sundays? This one is quite simple: a Jewish wedding may not take place on the Sabbath, which runs from sundown on Friday until sundown on Saturday. That leaves Sunday as the logical choice.
Why does the groom break a glass with his foot at the end of the wedding ceremony? The breaking of the glass represents the destruction of the ancient Temple in Jerusalem; in other words, it is a reminder of the fragility of life and an instruction to appreciate every joyous moment. The breaking of the glass is also said to be a celebration of the covenant of marriage into which the newlyweds have just entered.
What is a Ketubah? The Ketubah is a special marriage contract signed by the bride and groom. Perhaps the most interesting thing about the Ketubah is that it is designed to protect the interests of the bride, right down to requiring a witness that can attest to the fact that she has chosen to enter into the marriage willingly. The Ketubah is always very beautifully decorated, and may be displayed in the newlyweds' home.
What does Mazel Tov mean? Mazel tov means good luck, and is also frequently used to mean congratulations. This is why you will hear it shouted joyfully at many points during a Jewish wedding, starting with the moment when the groom breaks the glass at the end of the marriage ceremony.
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/marriage-articles/everything-you-wanted-to-know-about-jewish-weddings-but-were-afraid-to-ask-2211225.html
About the AuthorBridget Mora writes about weddings, customs, and etiquette. For a beautiful selection of wedding jewelry for the entire bridal party, visit us at http://silverlandjewelry.com/. All jewelry orders over $99 receive free shipping.
Building United Jewish Homes Through Intermarriage Conversion
By: Art Gib
Marriage involves more than living in the same house with another person. In addition to the companionship, laughter, love and joy that they share, couples usually face trials like financial responsibilities, raising children, managing time and moving to new areas for employment opportunities. This is why even the happiest couples admit that building a successful marriage requires a lot of work.
The foundation for a successful marriage begins with dating. In addition to generating entertainment, dating should help couples learn what they need from a marriage partner, test their compatibility, and strengthen the relationship they will need to weather life's storms. In most cases, for two people to find happiness together, they need to share common beliefs, values, interests and goals. Sometimes, it requires a lot of love, service, sacrifice, and compromise to reach that point though.
For example, love may bring two people with different religious backgrounds together because they have fun together, are attracted to each other and they have common interests, but tension will probably be generated as they raise children and conduct their lives unless their religious backgrounds are blended together or one is adopted over the other. Consequently, if one spouse in the marriage is very serious about religion, the other partner can eliminate a lot of tension and stress by investigating that faith and deciding whether or not they can adopt the values and beliefs that it preaches. Unfortunately, even willing candidates could run into trouble if they are dealing with stringent religious groups like Orthodox Jews.
In the Jewish religion, following the law with exactness is of paramount importance. Some of those laws can be confusing for a newcomer though. That's why independent organizations exist to provide couples with the information, guidance and support that they need. With some of the most respected and revered teachers leading these organizations, couples can rest assured that they are in competent and loving hands. The goal of these groups is to help intermarriage couples complete a legitimate conversion process that will last and strengthen the faith of parents and children in Jewish homes.
The leaders of this organization understand that when parents are united in what they believe and teach, their posterity is much more likely to stay loyal to the faith and create their own eternal Jewish family. If you don't understand the importance of family and traditions to the Jewish people, a few hours of watching Fiddler on the Roof should give you a glimpse into the matter.
About the Author
Eternal Jewish Family (http://eternaljewishfamily.org/) only works with couples at a Rabbi's recommendation. Since conversion is a highly personal matter, they do not guarantee conversion either. They can provide the things you need to be legitimate. The author, Art Gib, is a freelance writer.
(ArticlesBase SC #514547)Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Building United Jewish Homes Through Intermarriage Conversion
Lights, Camera, Mazel Tov – How I Officiated a Wedding on MTV
As one of the only rabbis in the South who will officiate interfaith weddings without conditions, I get quite a few calls from brides, grooms, and parents looking for a rabbi. When it came to Yisel and Max’s San Antonio, Texas wedding, it was the first time that
the call came from a television producer! I was definitely intrigued. After all (as a child of the 80s, especially), I never really thought that MTV would come calling!
The producer explained to me that MTV’s Hispanic channel was about to roll out a new reality TV series, “Quiero Mi Boda”, roughly translated, “I Want My Wedding”, which would go behind the scenes of weddings, and would be a spin-off of their very successful show “Quiero Mis Quinces” that did the same for the traditional coming of age parties for young Latinas. They were exclusively focusing on intercultural relationships, where one partner was Hispanic, and one of the central couples was a Jewish-Catholic couple,
who were to be married in exactly nine days. Their rabbi had pulled out at the last minute. It was very important to the couple to have a rabbi officiate their wedding, and it was important to them to be part of the series. If they couldn’t find a rabbi and quickly, they would be faced with a tough choice – give up on having a rabbi or themselves pull out of the series. Would I be willing to help?
My mission as an interfaith wedding rabbi is to help interfaith couples make the most of their most wonderful day. My belief is that interfaith relationships should be celebrated, and that the ceremony can and should be the focal point of this celebration of an interfaith couple beginning their new life together. I immediately said yes, as I wanted to help this couple who were in personal dire straits. I also felt it important to help them in their quest to utilize their wedding as a teachable moment for people
in the Hispanic and general community. This was a golden opportunity for MTV viewers to see what a Jewish wedding was all about, and how interfaith relationships are something a rabbi is passionate about celebrating.
I usually try to meet (or with couples who don’t live in Dallas, have phone conferences) with each couple three or four times before their wedding, so we can really get to know each other, and plan the ceremony together. Obviously nine days did not allow for that. Yisel, Max and I had to make do with one or two intensive phone conferences. That said, we were ready to go a few days before the wedding.
The MTV people were very respectful and seemed genuinely fascinated by all of the traditions included in the ceremony. It was very important to them that we include all of the authentic traditions for the television audience at home to see. I was personally fascinated by the whole production. In addition to the vendors you always see at a wedding, there were camera crews and “sound guys” hovering throughout the proceedings. Part of the time they just filmed what was going on, and part of the time they interviewed
people. As befits our somewhat litigious society, production assistants would quickly descend on anyone who participated, and have them sign a lengthy waiver.
The military wedding was exciting and beautiful with the groom, a U.S. Air Force pilot, clad in his dress uniform, and the bride, wearing a beautiful tiara veil in addition to her wedding gown. The ceremony included elements from both faith traditions, with vows, a New Testament reading, and a Unity Candle from the Christian tradition, and the Ketubah, the Seven Blessings and the breaking of the glass from the Jewish tradition. My favorite parts of any wedding ceremony, and this was no exception, are the traditions
that both faiths share, the ring exchange, the shared cup and the Priestly Blessing. For the latter I wrapped the couple in my Tallit, which always makes for a “warm and fuzzy” moment, and I blessed them in three languages, Hebrew, English and Spanish. I then pronounced them esposo y esposa. As I usually do, I included short explanations of all the various customs and rituals for the benefit of those at the wedding, and those who would watch it on TV.
I always begin the last part of the ceremony by mentioning that when people in our Great State of Texas hear that I do weddings, they say to me “Y’all break a glass, right?” Many times it is the only thing they know about a Jewish wedding. You would think, therefore that we would know the reason why we break a glass, and as typical of our People, there are about fifteen-twenty reasons for this ritual, which really means none are true... I then say, that following extensive Talmudic research, I have found the
real reason – this is to symbolize that this is the last time a Jewish husband will be able to put his foot down! This always elicits a hearty laugh, and it did this time too. I then usually follow this with a serious explanation, one that speaks to the couple and their hopes and dreams.
It was especially important to me and to Yisel and Max to use what I feel is the most wonderful explanation for the breaking of the glass; one that fits very well with the positive message that they, I and MTV were trying to convey regarding interfaith and intercultural relationships. The shattering of the glass, I explained, symbolizes the breaking down of barriers between people of different cultures and different faiths. We look to the bride and the groom, and hope that the day will come when everyone in the
whole world will learn from them, and love each other, regardless of faith and culture. I certainly hope that with the airing of this beautiful wedding on MTV, we will bring that day just a little closer!
© Copyright 2010 – Rabbi David S. Gruber – All Rights Reserved - This article originally appeared on www.InterfaithFamily.com.
About the Author
Rabbi David Gruber, an eighth generation rabbi, was born in Evanston, Illinois. He grew up in Israel, where he served in the IDF Armored Corps, and received his rabbinic ordination from the Chief Rabbis of Israel. He holds a B.A. in history, and an M.S. in Educational Leadership.
He has served in educational and religious leadership positions in the Jewish community in Israel, New Zealand, and the United States.
Though Rabbi Gruber used to be Orthodox, he now sees himself as a Jewish secular humanist, and as such he officiates interfaith weddings. Visit his website www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net
Building United Jewish Homes Through Intermarriage Conversion
The producer explained to me that MTV’s Hispanic channel was about to roll out a new reality TV series, “Quiero Mi Boda”, roughly translated, “I Want My Wedding”, which would go behind the scenes of weddings, and would be a spin-off of their very successful show “Quiero Mis Quinces” that did the same for the traditional coming of age parties for young Latinas. They were exclusively focusing on intercultural relationships, where one partner was Hispanic, and one of the central couples was a Jewish-Catholic couple, who were to be married in exactly nine days. Their rabbi had pulled out at the last minute. It was very important to the couple to have a rabbi officiate their wedding, and it was important to them to be part of the series. If they couldn’t find a rabbi and quickly, they would be faced with a tough choice – give up on having a rabbi or themselves pull out of the series. Would I be willing to help?
My mission as an interfaith wedding rabbi is to help interfaith couples make the most of their most wonderful day. My belief is that interfaith relationships should be celebrated, and that the ceremony can and should be the focal point of this celebration of an interfaith couple beginning their new life together. I immediately said yes, as I wanted to help this couple who were in personal dire straits. I also felt it important to help them in their quest to utilize their wedding as a teachable moment for people in the Hispanic and general community. This was a golden opportunity for MTV viewers to see what a Jewish wedding was all about, and how interfaith relationships are something a rabbi is passionate about celebrating.
I usually try to meet (or with couples who don’t live in Dallas, have phone conferences) with each couple three or four times before their wedding, so we can really get to know each other, and plan the ceremony together. Obviously nine days did not allow for that. Yisel, Max and I had to make do with one or two intensive phone conferences. That said, we were ready to go a few days before the wedding.
The MTV people were very respectful and seemed genuinely fascinated by all of the traditions included in the ceremony. It was very important to them that we include all of the authentic traditions for the television audience at home to see. I was personally fascinated by the whole production. In addition to the vendors you always see at a wedding, there were camera crews and “sound guys” hovering throughout the proceedings. Part of the time they just filmed what was going on, and part of the time they interviewed people. As befits our somewhat litigious society, production assistants would quickly descend on anyone who participated, and have them sign a lengthy waiver.
The military wedding was exciting and beautiful with the groom, a U.S. Air Force pilot, clad in his dress uniform, and the bride, wearing a beautiful tiara veil in addition to her wedding gown. The ceremony included elements from both faith traditions, with vows, a New Testament reading, and a Unity Candle from the Christian tradition, and the Ketubah, the Seven Blessings and the breaking of the glass from the Jewish tradition. My favorite parts of any wedding ceremony, and this was no exception, are the traditions that both faiths share, the ring exchange, the shared cup and the Priestly Blessing. For the latter I wrapped the couple in my Tallit, which always makes for a “warm and fuzzy” moment, and I blessed them in three languages, Hebrew, English and Spanish. I then pronounced them esposo y esposa. As I usually do, I included short explanations of all the various customs and rituals for the benefit of those at the wedding, and those who would watch it on TV.
I always begin the last part of the ceremony by mentioning that when people in our Great State of Texas hear that I do weddings, they say to me “Y’all break a glass, right?” Many times it is the only thing they know about a Jewish wedding. You would think, therefore that we would know the reason why we break a glass, and as typical of our People, there are about fifteen-twenty reasons for this ritual, which really means none are true... I then say, that following extensive Talmudic research, I have found the real reason – this is to symbolize that this is the last time a Jewish husband will be able to put his foot down! This always elicits a hearty laugh, and it did this time too. I then usually follow this with a serious explanation, one that speaks to the couple and their hopes and dreams.
It was especially important to me and to Yisel and Max to use what I feel is the most wonderful explanation for the breaking of the glass; one that fits very well with the positive message that they, I and MTV were trying to convey regarding interfaith and intercultural relationships. The shattering of the glass, I explained, symbolizes the breaking down of barriers between people of different cultures and different faiths. We look to the bride and the groom, and hope that the day will come when everyone in the whole world will learn from them, and love each other, regardless of faith and culture. I certainly hope that with the airing of this beautiful wedding on MTV, we will bring that day just a little closer!
© Copyright 2010 – Rabbi David S. Gruber – All Rights Reserved - This article originally appeared on www.InterfaithFamily.com.
Rabbi David Gruber, an eighth generation rabbi, was born in Evanston, Illinois. He grew up in Israel, where he served in the IDF Armored Corps, and received his rabbinic ordination from the Chief Rabbis of Israel. He holds a B.A. in history, and an M.S. in Educational Leadership. He has served in educational and religious leadership positions in the Jewish community in Israel, New Zealand, and the United States. Though Rabbi Gruber used to be Orthodox, he now sees himself as a Jewish secular humanist, and as such he officiates interfaith weddings. Visit his website www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net
By: Art Gib
Marriage involves more than living in the same house with another person. In addition to the companionship, laughter, love and joy that they share, couples usually face trials like financial responsibilities, raising children, managing time and moving to new areas for employment opportunities. This is why even the happiest couples admit that building a successful marriage requires a lot of work. The foundation for a successful marriage begins with dating. In addition to generating entertainment,
dating should help couples learn what they need from a marriage partner, test their compatibility, and strengthen the relationship they will need to weather life's storms. In most cases, for two people to find happiness together, they need to share common beliefs, values, interests and goals. Sometimes, it requires a lot of love, service, sacrifice, and compromise to reach that point though.
For example, love may bring two people with different religious backgrounds together because they have fun together,
are attracted to each other and they have common interests, but tension will probably be generated as they raise children and conduct their lives unless their religious backgrounds are blended together or one is adopted over the other. Consequently, if one spouse in the marriage is very serious about religion, the other partner can eliminate a lot of tension and stress by investigating that faith and deciding whether or not they can adopt the values and beliefs that it preaches. Unfortunately, even willing candidates
could run into trouble if they are dealing with stringent religious groups like Orthodox Jews.
In the Jewish religion, following the law with exactness is of paramount importance. Some of those laws can be confusing for a newcomer though. That's why independent organizations exist to provide couples with the information, guidance and support that they need. With some of the most respected and revered teachers leading these organizations, couples can rest assured that they are in competent and loving hands.
The goal of these groups is to help intermarriage couples complete a legitimate conversion process that will last and strengthen the faith of parents and children in Jewish homes.
The leaders of this organization understand that when parents are united in what they believe and teach, their posterity is much more likely to stay loyal to the faith and create their own eternal Jewish family. If you don't understand the importance of family and traditions to the Jewish people, a few hours of watching Fiddler
on the Roof should give you a glimpse into the matter.
About the Author
Eternal Jewish Family (http://eternaljewishfamily.org/) only works with couples at a Rabbi's recommendation. Since conversion is a highly personal matter, they do not guarantee conversion either. They can provide the things you need to be legitimate. The author, Art Gib, is a freelance writer.
(ArticlesBase SC #514547)
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Building United Jewish Homes Through Intermarriage Conversion(ArticlesBase SC #1749922)
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Lights, Camera, Mazel Tov – How I Officiated a Wedding on MTV
Russian Jewish Wedding Traditions
By: Jeff
There are other things that cannot be controlled unfortunately, and that includes choosing a wedding date in July in Toronto. Although it is summer, and the weather is the best in those months, there still runs the chance that the weather can call for rain so it is best to pick a date that is meaningful for both the newlyweds. There are many different cultures in Toronto so having to plan for a wedding is best done when you know where to go to have the wedding done. For example,
the wide range of different cultures includes, Greek, Italian, Portuguese, Spanish, Arabic and Russian to name a few.
Some Russian Jewish wedding traditions includes having a select type of food be offered to the distinguished guests of the wedding. First off, the ceremony is done in a synagogue and done on a Sunday. The synagogue tends to play host to both the ceremony and reception afterwards. All the men have to wear a kipa at the synagogue, whether you are Jewish or not. Some of the food that is served at a Russian Jewish wedding includes smoked salmon, red caviar, Stolichny Salad, which is a special Russian salad. These
foods and traditions are applied across to all the guests of the wedding.
With the Russian community being very large in Toronto, it is best to know that you can deal with a few wedding services that will be able to understand the culture and offer you whatever you need for your wedding day to be a success. This includes a banquet hall in Toronto offering Russian food, and a wedding DJ offering the right amount of Russian entertainment.
About the Author
http://www.surroundsounddj.com
(ArticlesBase SC #1767246)
Article Source: http://www.articlesbase.com/ - Russian Jewish Wedding Traditions
By: Jeff
Some Russian Jewish wedding traditions includes having a select type of food be offered to the distinguished guests of the wedding. First off, the ceremony is done in a synagogue and done on a Sunday. The synagogue tends to play host to both the ceremony and reception afterwards. All the men have to wear a kipa at the synagogue, whether you are Jewish or not. Some of the food that is served at a Russian Jewish wedding includes smoked salmon, red caviar, Stolichny Salad, which is a special Russian salad. These foods and traditions are applied across to all the guests of the wedding.
With the Russian community being very large in Toronto, it is best to know that you can deal with a few wedding services that will be able to understand the culture and offer you whatever you need for your wedding day to be a success. This includes a banquet hall in Toronto offering Russian food, and a wedding DJ offering the right amount of Russian entertainment.
http://www.surroundsounddj.com
Out of Orthodoxy - Why This Former Orthodox Rabbi Will Officiate at Interfaith Marriages
Many might ask, even accuse, how can I, a rabbi, who once was Orthodox, who served an Orthodox congregation, and at the helm of Orthodox educational institutions, be willing, nay eager, to help interfaith couples and (co)officiate at their weddings?
Let me open with a family story. I remember a discussion my grandmother had with my great uncle in front of me. They had both moved from the East Coast to Portland, Oregon to be with their children and grandchildren. Neither was observant in the Orthodox sense of the word, but both had bought kosher meat back east. While my grandmother continued to buy kosher meat in Portland despite the higher price, my great uncle started buying non-kosher meat, once he moved out there. He explained that kosher meat was just
too expensive. My grandmother sternly responded, that she continued to buy kosher meat, because, “that is how our parents brought us up!”
That logic never made sense to me. I bought kosher food, lived in the Eruv, sent my kids to a costly day school, and fulfilled all the other costly and taxing demands of Halacha, because I firmly believed that God had commanded me to do so. Even where tradition came into play, such as the standard derech hapsak (modus of halachic ruling) of the Rama, concepts of minhag yisrael din hu (the custom of Israel has the force of law), and the like, the implicit, if not explicit reasoning
was that God wants you to do it this way, not that tradition in and of itself had some independent value aside from God’s will. My opposition at the time to intermarriage, as to any transgression of Jewish Law had nothing to do with tradition. As an Orthodox rabbi I did not, nor would I have dreamt of performing intermarriages, as it is against Halacha. Period. What mattered to me was the desire of the deity, not a tradition, in and of itself.
Somewhere in the middle of 2006, this all changed. I had an epiphany of sorts, and it became clear to me that I could not remain Orthodox. I began a year and a half long journey of study and exploration, at the end of which I left the Orthodox world behind, and I now live my life as a Jewish secular humanist. I no longer buy kosher food, live in the Eruv, send my kids to a costly day school, or fulfill all the other costly and taxing demands of Halacha, because I firmly believe that no God has
commanded me to do so. As my objection to officiating at intermarriages was part and parcel of my Halachic life, I see no reason not to do this now. Period. Now what guides my life are the ideals of humanism. What matters is how I can help my fellow human being, and how I can make the world a better place for humanity in general. That is of the most paramount importance, not the imagined desire of a deity.
I remember when I first met with Rabbi Jacques Cukierkorn, over some kosher ribs at Irv’s Market in Kansas City. He explained his philosophy of what he would and wouldn’t do through a story which was intended in good humor to cause even the most liberal Orthodox rabbi (me) to raise an eyebrow. Once he got the effect he wanted, he explained seriously that he has one criterion when he judges a potential act – will it further the cause of Judaism? I too have one criterion – will what I do help my fellow human beings,
and will it further the cause of humanistic ideals? Treating a couple with kindness and compassion, as human beings, as individuals, which is the way they treated each other when they fell in love is the best way of fulfilling this. In fact, I can think of few things better than helping a couple make the most important day of their life even more wonderful, especially when so many rabbis will not do so without attaching numerous conditions.
Rabbi Adam Chalom talks about the fact that all marriages are intermarriages. People marry multifaceted individuals; each one of us has many defining characteristics, with our religion being just one of them. In that sense even a marriage between two Ultra-Orthodox Jews is a mixed marriage, and a marriage between a Jew and a non-Jew, who are on the same “wave length” in many things could be less of a stretch, depending on the other characteristics of each individual. Amy Elkes writes, “My boyfriend and I share
many of the same beliefs and values. We both believe in acting with honesty and integrity. We both honor our families and believe that children are a couple’s greatest commitment. We love learning and traveling and exploring new places. When we face problems, no matter what kind, we turn to one another for comfort and support. In short we do not define ourselves solely by our religions, and as a result, we have a tremendous amount of common ground to stand on.” Each couple must ascertain if their “package”
is one that will work. After, all a perfectly Halachic marriage between a Humanistic Jew and an Ultra Orthodox Jew would probably have a lesser chance of remaining intact, than one between a Humanistic Jew and a Humanistic Buddhist.
The interesting thing is that if we are, after all, to invoke tradition, we who see nothing wrong with interfaith marriage have quite a leg to stand on, and in a sense a better one than those who invoke tradition against it. After all, from the period where our ancestors, the Canaanites of the Central Highlands started to define themselves as Israelites and Judahites to at least 450 B.C.E., beyond the standard xenophobia, so common to those times, not many thought there was really that much wrong with intermarriage.
This was in part because they all worshipped many of the same gods, with a small group of priests in the 7th Century B.C.E. pushing monolatry of one of those particular gods, Yahweh, and trying to foment a little bit more than the standard xenophobia with their intermarriage prohibitions. The latter openly lament, that they really didn’t make too much of a “splash” at the time in the general populace. That is why we see intermarriage exemplified by the legendary figures of Ruth, Ma’acha, Na’ama, Jezebel, Yeter,
Uriah, and many more. Prof. Baruch Halpern talks about the fact that in general this Yahweh Alone party rewrote history with the traditional Israelite practice condemned as foreign and against tradition, and the new practice of this new party elevated as the true Israelite tradition. This is just one more instance, where that is so true. By being open to interfaith marriage we invoke the ancient and true traditions of our Canaanite/Israelite ancestors. By leaving their xenophobia behind, we improve on these
traditions.
I feel a personal connection to such an avenue of thinking regarding myself as one who will (co)officiate at interfaith marriages. The following is my personal conjecture, and I may be a little off, but certainly not anymore so than traditional Judaism’s version. There have been a number of fascinating studies regarding the evidence mitochondrial and Y chromosome DNA markers give us regarding the development of the human race. One of the most fascinating of these studies is the study that implies that 70-80%
of today’s male Kohanim (Aaronide or Zadokite priests) are in fact descended from a single common male ancestor who lived 2100-3500 years ago. Now, the consensus of archeologists is quite clear that the Israelites and Judahites emerged from the Canaanites of the Central Highlands. That means that that ancestor most probably came from within that milieu. If you read between the lines of the Bible, you can see that there is a certain probability that the story of the Aaronide priesthood really begins with
the selection of two rival Cannanite priesthood lines by the rustic Judahite chieftain we know as David (who we now have evidence did in fact exist) with the Zadokite line winning out. When I, a Kohen, stand before a couple and consecrate them in marriage, I see myself not only as an heir to the historical traditions of Judaism and the original Cannanite/Israelites, but also, by virtue of my DNA, as an heir to that ancient Cannanite priesthood, who may have officiated at many marriages of all sorts,
without anyone thinking anything about it.
Some may say that officiating at interfaith marriages will decimate the Jewish people. Some, and I count my former self as guilty in this regard, even use abhorrent references to a “voluntary holocaust”, as if people wishing to marry those they love are analogous to those who murdered a third of our people. Again Chalom is poignant in his thinking in this matter. Why not look at this as enlarging the Jewish people? To Jewish theists of all stripes, there is a need to legally define who is Jewish and who is not,
as they look at Jews through religious eyes. Who is a Jew, is as important a subject to the most liberal Reform rabbi, as it is to her Neturai Karta counterpart. To them, by virtue of some version of Halacha the children of the interfaith couple will be Jewish or won’t be Jewish, and this is a concern of the utmost importance. To me, Judaism is primarily an issue of culture, history, and an intellectual tradition, the positive and relevant aspects of which I embrace along with the traditions
of the enlightenment. One can be a part of many different cultures. My children are three quarters Ashkenazic, and one quarter Sephardic. Did I do damage to Ashkenazi culture by not marrying a fully Ashkenazic woman? My cousin married a man from China. Did she do damage to her children by not marrying an American born man? Did he do damage to his children by not marrying a Chinese woman? Certainly, to their shame, many people, a generation or two ago would have answered to the affirmative. To the shame of Ultra
Orthodox Judaism in Israel, they still answer to the affirmative today to my first question. Need we be so narrow minded? Can we not understand that there is something enriching and positive and wonderful about more people out there being heirs to a Jewish cultural, historical and intellectual tradition, combined with whatever additional identities they have? This should be seen as a blessing, not a problem.
Our Rabbis ask what does God do ever since he finished with the heavy lifting of creation? They tell us that he does one thing – matchmaking. The idea of marriage, two separate people coming together to form one united entity, when you think about it, is really quite fantastic. In our modern culture with the high divorce rate, we see how incredibly difficult it can be to keep such a package intact. Those of us who are married know that you need to keep working at it day by day. If we are approached by a couple
who deeply love each other, who have thought the issues of their compatibility through, and have decided that they would like nothing more than to spend their life together, blending their lives and their flesh into one, and they ask us to help them make this dream come true, dare we say no? I know I cannot, and I will not. I will not attach any conditions to my willingness to (co)officiate, and I will have one question only, the question Chalom says he asks couples when they approach him, “Do you love each other?”
If the answer is yes, I will have only one response, “Mazel Tov, now let’s look at some dates…”
Copyright 2007 – www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net - Rabbi David S. Gruber – All Rights Reserved
About the Author
I am a native of Evanston, Illinois, and an eighth generation rabbi. I grew up in Israel, where I served as a tank gunner in the IDF Armored Corps, attended Yeshivat Sha’alvim, one of the most prominent institutions of higher Orthodox Jewish learning in Israel for seven years, and received my Orthodox rabbinic ordination from the Chief Rabbis of Israel. I hold a B.A. in History from Thomas Edison State College, and an M.S. in Educational Leadership from Walden University.
I have served in educational and religious leadership positions in the Jewish community on three continents since my teens, specifically in Israel, New Zealand and the United States.
A former member of the Rabbinical Council of America (RCA) I am one of the only ordained Orthodox rabbis in the world, who has renounced Orthodoxy and sees himself as a secular humanist. As such I deeply believes in helping interfaith couples make the most out of the most wonderful day of their lives.
Having lived, since my return to the United States, in Overland Park, Kansas, Toledo, Ohio and Dallas, Texas, I now live in the beautiful city of Frisco, Texas, a northern suburb of Dallas, and one of the fastest growing cities in the United States.
Visit my website at www.interfaithweddingrabbi.net
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